Because 2015 was rough, and while some of that roughness is not going away I’m ready to make 2016 my year.
Things I will not miss about 2015 (in no particular order):
- Being in a job that I was not cut out for & hating every second of every day – even the ones that I didn’t need to work because I need to make a difference for others
- Learning my father was hit by a car, while I was driving around looking for my father in a terrible storm – fearing for both of our lives and how my mom would have to learn of both of our deaths if it came to it
- Watching my potential future as my father did not recognize me after his surgery
- Realizing his Alzheimer’s had progressed a lot in the months that followed his recovery and realizing that time is getting short for him on this earth
- Finding out that for my mom, the time is already too far gone because she has lost the parts of my father that she loved the most and she’s left with a lot of pain and guilt and deep sadness
- One of my brothers has received divorce papers from his wife, and he is certain she has been cheating on him. So as a result he has shut down on life, he’s angry, he’s hurt, he’s scared, and he’s a barely functioning alcoholic
- Another one of my brothers has had a deep falling out with his daughter who now refuses to live with him. He knows he was wrong and is willing to admit it to her. His ex-wife won’t push their daughter to try and repair the relationship so in essence she’s a wedge between them right now
- That same brother has a brain tumor and was given a diagnosis of 5-10 years, that was 4 years ago (on the bright side his doctors are happy with the progression so we’re probably looking at the longer end of that range, but still time is a factor and I don’t know if my niece understands that, really)
- And yet another brother has fallen into the family curse of heavy anxiety and depression, and the doctors are having difficulty finding the right mix of meds for him so he can be engaged in this world without being so fearful and stressed that he can’t handle living in it
I’m not kidding myself that with the change of job and the change of the calendar year my life will change and I’ll automatically be happier, but I am in a job now that has career potential, and I have accepted the hard facts of my family’s future, and I’m grateful for the good things even in the hard times.
2016 is an adventure that I’m entering with eyes open, and while the year won’t be perfect it will be one that I chose to willingly continue to make positive changes even when the changes have difficulties that come along.
So cheers to a healthy new year!