Dear Mom (3)

Dear Mom,

In the context of all of the suck that is cancer we got some good news this week – the doctor believes that if you take care of yourself you should see another birthday and maybe another Christmas.

This means you’ll also get to see the next two grandkids get married – and they’ll get to celebrate their weddings without the dark cloud of your death hanging over them.

Unfortunately, Dad didn’t really get it. He took it to mean that you didn’t have cancer. And he told people you were mis-diagnosed. And then you had to tell people that you do have cancer – again. And you had to tell Dad that you have cancer – again.
And I know that it hurts to have to tell him this once, a second time and a third…and…and…and…

And it’s so hard, these extreme emotions. I want to celebrate the good, and I want to forget the not-so-great.
But, that doesn’t seem to be in my nature. And I know I got that from you so I imagine you struggle with this as much – or likely you struggle even more – than I do.

Sigh. I’m trying not to think about it too much. Most of the time I’m failing.

With all my love,

M

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